Supporting the perfectionistic child
Perfectionism is a personality trait with affects that range from uncomfortable to disabling. The links below allow you to explore the characteristics of the trait, some of the myths, the controversy in the research, and strategies that may prove to be helpful.
Help your perfectionistic child develop a growth mindset
The concepts presented about a growth mindset in the book Mindset: the new psychology of success (Dweck, 2008) provide a good guide on how to redirect the self-talk of perfectionists. This link will send you to the online site that supports the book.
Consider counseling services
Counseling may be appropriate if your child experiences severe anxiety and stress due to perfectionism. Carol Bainbridge provides some advice on selecting the best counselor in her article When your child needs a counselor know how to find the right one.
Dr. James Webb gives advice on selecting the right therapist for your child in his article Tips for selecting the right therapist for your gifted child.
Healthy or unhealthy perfectionism
According to Benson (2003), some researchers describe a difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism while others say that there is no such thing as healthy perfectionism. Healthy perfectionism is attributed to individuals who strive for high levels of accomplishment but are accepting of their own mistakes which some researchers say is striving for excellence, not perfectionism. There is a difference between wanting to excel and feeling you should excel, especially when feeling you should excel leads to high levels of anxiety, obsessive behavior, unrealistic expectations, and feelings of inadequacy. Etienne Benson covers this debate well in her article for the American Psychological Association The many faces of perfectionism.
Perfectionism and healthy striving
The University of Texas at Austin has created a site called Perfectionism Versus Healthy Striving that delineates the differences between the two personality traits. This site also provides some of the myths about perfectionism and also lists some effective coping strategies.
Help your perfectionistic child develop a growth mindset
The concepts presented about a growth mindset in the book Mindset: the new psychology of success (Dweck, 2008) provide a good guide on how to redirect the self-talk of perfectionists. This link will send you to the online site that supports the book.
Consider counseling services
Counseling may be appropriate if your child experiences severe anxiety and stress due to perfectionism. Carol Bainbridge provides some advice on selecting the best counselor in her article When your child needs a counselor know how to find the right one.
Dr. James Webb gives advice on selecting the right therapist for your child in his article Tips for selecting the right therapist for your gifted child.
Healthy or unhealthy perfectionism
According to Benson (2003), some researchers describe a difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism while others say that there is no such thing as healthy perfectionism. Healthy perfectionism is attributed to individuals who strive for high levels of accomplishment but are accepting of their own mistakes which some researchers say is striving for excellence, not perfectionism. There is a difference between wanting to excel and feeling you should excel, especially when feeling you should excel leads to high levels of anxiety, obsessive behavior, unrealistic expectations, and feelings of inadequacy. Etienne Benson covers this debate well in her article for the American Psychological Association The many faces of perfectionism.
Perfectionism and healthy striving
The University of Texas at Austin has created a site called Perfectionism Versus Healthy Striving that delineates the differences between the two personality traits. This site also provides some of the myths about perfectionism and also lists some effective coping strategies.
Join the discussion among parents and educators about student accomplishment by using the link below.
References
Antony, M. (2010). When perfect is not good enough. Ted Talks. Retrieved from Youtube site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTbnBmwKuCI
Bainbridge, C. When your child needs a counselor know how to find the right one. Retrieved from the About.com. Online Web site: http://giftedkids.about.com/od/socialemotionalissues/a/When-Your-Child-Needs-A-Counselor.htm
Benson, E. (2003). The many faces of perfectionism. Monitor on Psychology. 34.10, 18. Retrieved from the American Psychological
Association Online Web site: http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces.aspx
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York, NY: Ballantine Press.
Greenspon, T. ( 2000). Healthy perfectionism is an oxymoron! Journal of Secondary Education, 11.4, 197-208, 222-223. Prufrock Press. Retrieved from the Davidson Institute Online Web site: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10486.aspx
Neumeister, K.L.S. & Finch, H. (2006). Perfectionism in high-ability students: relational precursors and influences in achievement motivation. The Gifted Child Quarterly. 50.3, 249-253. Platinum Periodicals.
Szymanski, J. (2011). Perfectionism: healthy or hurtful. HBR Blog Network. Retrieved from the Harvard Business Review Online Web site: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/10/is_perfectionism_helping_or_hurting.html
University of Texas, Austin. Perfectionism versus healthy striving. Retrieved from the University of Texas, Austin Counseling and Mental Health
Center Online Web site: http://cmhc.utexas.edu/perfectionism.html
Webb, J. (2001). Tips for selecting the right counselor or therapist for your gifted child. SENG Newsletter. 2001 1(2) 4, 3-4, 8. Retrieved from the SENG Online Web site: http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/tips-for-selecting-the-right-counselor-or-therapist-for-your-gifted-child
Bainbridge, C. When your child needs a counselor know how to find the right one. Retrieved from the About.com. Online Web site: http://giftedkids.about.com/od/socialemotionalissues/a/When-Your-Child-Needs-A-Counselor.htm
Benson, E. (2003). The many faces of perfectionism. Monitor on Psychology. 34.10, 18. Retrieved from the American Psychological
Association Online Web site: http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces.aspx
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York, NY: Ballantine Press.
Greenspon, T. ( 2000). Healthy perfectionism is an oxymoron! Journal of Secondary Education, 11.4, 197-208, 222-223. Prufrock Press. Retrieved from the Davidson Institute Online Web site: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10486.aspx
Neumeister, K.L.S. & Finch, H. (2006). Perfectionism in high-ability students: relational precursors and influences in achievement motivation. The Gifted Child Quarterly. 50.3, 249-253. Platinum Periodicals.
Szymanski, J. (2011). Perfectionism: healthy or hurtful. HBR Blog Network. Retrieved from the Harvard Business Review Online Web site: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/10/is_perfectionism_helping_or_hurting.html
University of Texas, Austin. Perfectionism versus healthy striving. Retrieved from the University of Texas, Austin Counseling and Mental Health
Center Online Web site: http://cmhc.utexas.edu/perfectionism.html
Webb, J. (2001). Tips for selecting the right counselor or therapist for your gifted child. SENG Newsletter. 2001 1(2) 4, 3-4, 8. Retrieved from the SENG Online Web site: http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/tips-for-selecting-the-right-counselor-or-therapist-for-your-gifted-child