Parent-Child Communication Tips
The following recommendations were compiled by members of the Parent Institute Committee of the Office of Gifted Education and Curriculum Development. They are based on the experiences of educators and parents of gifted students in Virginia Beach City Public Schools.
1. Discuss the topic of motivaton openly with your child. Resources on this Motivation for Accomplishment website may serve as support for your discussions.
2. Encourage your child to express his understanding of how he is motivated and what he finds to be motivating.
3. Ask your child to envision herself in the future. Help her to include scholarly and/or artistic accomplishment as a part of her vision of the future.
4. Talk to your child about the challenges of school without disparaging the teacher. Work through teacher-parent disagreements in an adult-to-adult setting.
5. Help your child learn to decompress when he feels stressed by an academic challenge. This is particularly important if your child is perfectionistic, sensitive, or emotionally intense. You can consult with your child's school counselor about relaxation and calming techniques.
6. Develop your child's resilience and persistence when faced with challenges. Treat failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure is a way to determine the limits of our skills and understanding and to use that knowledge to reach new levels of skills and understanding.
7. Pay more attention to the skills, understanding, and knowledge your child is acquiring than to the grades she earns.
8. Remark upon and share your appreciation of your child's development of self-regulation skills and formation of positive habits. Treat them as accomplishments that are just as important as improving academic capabilities.
9. Though you should avoid talking down to your gifted child and collaborate with her as much as possible, you should always remain the parent. Your strength, steadfast values, consistency, and capacity for love are critical to his development.
Investigate Further
1. Discuss the topic of motivaton openly with your child. Resources on this Motivation for Accomplishment website may serve as support for your discussions.
2. Encourage your child to express his understanding of how he is motivated and what he finds to be motivating.
3. Ask your child to envision herself in the future. Help her to include scholarly and/or artistic accomplishment as a part of her vision of the future.
4. Talk to your child about the challenges of school without disparaging the teacher. Work through teacher-parent disagreements in an adult-to-adult setting.
5. Help your child learn to decompress when he feels stressed by an academic challenge. This is particularly important if your child is perfectionistic, sensitive, or emotionally intense. You can consult with your child's school counselor about relaxation and calming techniques.
6. Develop your child's resilience and persistence when faced with challenges. Treat failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure is a way to determine the limits of our skills and understanding and to use that knowledge to reach new levels of skills and understanding.
7. Pay more attention to the skills, understanding, and knowledge your child is acquiring than to the grades she earns.
8. Remark upon and share your appreciation of your child's development of self-regulation skills and formation of positive habits. Treat them as accomplishments that are just as important as improving academic capabilities.
9. Though you should avoid talking down to your gifted child and collaborate with her as much as possible, you should always remain the parent. Your strength, steadfast values, consistency, and capacity for love are critical to his development.
Investigate Further
The link above will take you to the article Guidelines for Parents of the Gifted by Dr. Linda Silverman, director of The Institute for the Study of Advanced Development. She shares her recommendations for disciplining, guiding, and communicating with your gifted child.
This link will take you to a half-hour discussion about effective and ineffective ways to praise your children.
Join the discussion among parents and educators about student accomplishment by using the link below.
References
Coloroso,
B., Housand, S. & Messina, R. (2009) To Praise or Not To Praise: Experts
discuss the best ways to encourage kids. Retrieved from the tvoparents.com
Online Web site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LALuNkFJQsE
Silverman, L. Guidelines for Parents of the Gifted [PDF document.] Retrieved from the Gifted Development Center Online Web site: http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Articles/parenting/p25.pdf
Silverman, L. Guidelines for Parents of the Gifted [PDF document.] Retrieved from the Gifted Development Center Online Web site: http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Articles/parenting/p25.pdf